7 January 2012, 12:22 pm
My Mother will not tell me who my Father is, met maternal Mother at age 30, am 64 now and still looking for my Surname. Have done DNA testing on Family Tree DNA and found lots of kin, but no one knows any relatives that were in the Medford Oregon area in early 1947. When I met my Mother she was all agog and when I asked her about my Father she said she could not tell me as it would cause too many problems in the family!? Later she said she would tell me who he is after my Grand parents pass on, after they did I asked again and then she said she didn't know who he was. All she would say was his nickname was Lucky, he rode a Harley, wore a black leather jacket and HIS Mother had a wooden leg. How much of that is true, who knows? I really don't care if I ever meet him or not, I more than anything want to know what my surname is and all I know for sure through DNA is that he was British my heritage. My adopted parents divorced when I was 4 and I never had a Father figure after that, left home when I was 14. I feel I have a right to know what my surname is and do not feel that anyone for any reason has the right to withhold another's heritage. My Mother throws up a defense now by getting upset when I ask her and telling me I don't understand how bad her childhood was. Easy to say for someone who knew their parents growing up and made their own choices in life, I never even had that much. I have met my half-sisters, her husband, etc. Went to her house for the holidays for years, her Father passed away first, then her Mother whom I met although her mind was already gone by then. Since they have passed and I asked about my Father she just gets mad & upset and starts the crying routine because I have a desire to know Who I Am. For myself, my children, my grandchildren and my great grandchildren I desire to know our Surname and heritage, is that asking too much? I think my Surname is either Moore or perhaps Harris, but it appears by the DNA evidence that it is probably Moore. I am at a dead end it seems now and do not know where to turn anymore. I no longer talk with my Maternal Mother, I do talk with a couple of my Sisters and cousins, nieces and nephews that I met through her, but have ceased all communications with her. If anyone has any other ideas I would greatly appreciate them. If you know your Surname, if you had parents, natural or adopted, then you would not be able to relate to this. Hard for someone to understand the feeling. My adopted parents pretty much just kicked me to the curb once they got divorced, that is why I left home at 14, adopted Father remarried and had another family, adopted Mother became a slut mistress to another married man, that affair lasted well beyond when I left home. I just want to know something about my real Father and I don't care how bad or good he is or was, it makes no difference. If what happened between my natural Mother and Father had not happened I would not be here, but it did and I am. My natural Mother was one month shy of 15 when I was born and that is why she did not keep me, she then returned to Jr.High School. I do not want to hurt anyone, but I am tired of the pain I have had to endure all my life also from being alone all my life. I honestly think this has played a large part on my own failure at marriage, but guess that is something I will never know.... Read More »
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